My life has changed.

As I think about my life, and how I wouldn't change it, this isn't necessarily how I imagined my life. 4 years ago. Music was my life. I played guitar all the time. If I wasn't playing guitar. I was listening to it. I had never really had a boyfriend, and wanted to just live life.

Children! I wanted to be a mom and have a family, but thought it would be years from then. More than 4 anyways.

I expected to marry a musician and jam at least twice a week. And play at a coffee house.

I love my husband. I love my daughter. I love my life. I don't know if I love who I've become. I feel like im just a mommy now. No real hobbies anymore. I barely play my guitar and only listen to the radio in the car.

I don't go to concerts anymore. I go to work and come home. This is my life.

Oh what a weekend

Had an awesome weekend. The family and I drove to California from Utah. 800 Miles with a 1 year old in the back seat crying. The drive was the worst part. We had to stop like 10 times and 2 times we could sleep. We left Utah at 5:30 Pm on Friday night. Pulled into my moms house at 7 am Saturday Morning.

We were supposed to sleep, but being as that we hadnt seen our families in quite awhile we had no urge to sleep. We sat around the house until 12 pm and then went and met with family and friends. Rocquelle did great with all the people she saw this weekend. We only get to go down to Cali every few months or so. And never get to see all the people we want to see. We stay with my mom and dad, so she is used to them. My brother and his family always come and see us so she is getting to know them too. We see my husbands family usually 1 day while we are down there. We always see his grandma. So she knows her too.

Adam hadn't seen his brother, or mom in about a year. We really wanted to see them, but his brother was staying in San Jose, with his mom, and they couldn't come down. It was disappointing but nice to see the family that we did.

I also got to meet my new niece who was born last week. She is beautiful and so tiny.

My sister was staying in Modesto, 30 miles from where we were staying. She normally stays up in SF and so  I was really excited to hear that she was down. We haven't seen her in awhile, and Adam hadn't seen her in over a year.
I called her Saturday morning, and asked her if she wanted to come to my moms house and visit, and have dinner with us. My cousin paid for her to come down there, so she asked if she could come and visit me and she said yes. No big deal. I hang up all excited to see my sister.
About an hour later I get a call. " Hey, I cant come tonight, I made a commitment to stay here."
We talk awhile and see if she is just going to come for dinner and we take her back by 9. I really wanted to see her. She says she will ask and will call back later.

On my way home from modesto, I call her She says she wont be coming to dinner and wont be seeing us. From there I get angry. Say somethings I didnt really mean. and it ends up a huge argument where she says she isn't apart of our family anymore and she doesnt want to hear from us unless its an emergency. She would rather be my cousins daughter than my Mothers. It was very hurtful to all of us, but that is my sister. We celebrated my moms birthday on Sunday and left Monday. It was another very long drive but went faster since we drove in the day time. Got home at midnight and passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow. What a great weekend.

 Rocquelle in her fishing hat. Her Pape gave it to her because she kept trying to steal his :)

 Rocquelle with her Gramma the morning we left

My brother Bobby reading to Rocquelle before we put her to bed. It was so sweet.

Poopy diapers and a new job for me

sorry its been  so long since i posted on here. please eexcuse punctuation on here, i cant seem to capitalize anything. so anyways update on us. adam still has his job and his probation is almost up. yay. i cant wait until its done. so the title is because rocquelle took her diaper off this morning...it was poopy. no fun. and what did she decide to do in it? play in it of course. and daddy had to go to work. so mommy had to clean it up. and that is the life of a mommy with a toddler. i also recently got a new job. i work for my churchs daycare. its a pretty good job. part time, and i get to bring rocquelle with me. she loves it. its good for her too.  she gets a lot of older kid interaction. i thought it would be hard. working and taking care of her, but the other workers are so great. they help me out a lot. well thats about it for today. not much has been happening lately. hope you enjoyed it.

Drag Races/ 4th of July

So Tired. This was at the drag races

She didnt make it through the whole thing, but slept through the twin jet engines

Well, its been a great week so far. Friday night we went to the drag races. It was loads of fun. Adam had never been. and he got to see a few monster trucks race too! My family is really big on monster trucks...well at least my Aunt and Cousin are. But any ways. The drag races were a lot of fun. I had never been to ones with such loud engines. They had one that had the twin jet engines. It was crazy to me. That they could put Jet engines on a car...WOW!

The next day was fun as well. We went to Taylorsville Dayzz. Its a carnival that our town likes to have, the weekend before 4th of July. It was a lot of fun, but really hot. Its funny, I used to live in california. and there, it wasnt hot until it was 100+ degrees. Here in Utah, 90 degrees and it is so hot. So we walked around and met up with friends. After awhile, it was just too hot. So we went swimming. We spent the rest of the day playing and relaxing in the pool. Fun day.

The rest of the week went by uneventful. We did laundry, grocery shopping, and work.
Yesterday was 4th of July. We started out, not planning to do anything. We ended up going to a street fair and walking around. Then we went to the mall and Rocquelle and Adam played in the outside fountains. We came home and got cleaned up. The big fireworks show here is at Sugarhouse park. I didnt think it would be that packed at 7 pm, when the show was at 10, but boy was I wrong. What got me the most is people were paying 10 dollars for parking. Thats a lot of  money to us right now. We try and find the cheap stuff, or free! So to pay $10 was just too much. We drove around for 20 minutes trying to find parking, finally we found some, but by the time we did, Rocquelle was sleeping, and the park was getting more and more packed. Okay, so I said the fireworks started at 10. Well online it said they started at 9. So we sat down on our blanket and waited...and waited...and waited. 9 pm, 9:20, 9:45, and finally at 10:10 the first firework shot up in the air. and from that moment on, not one person did anything else but watch the fireworks. It was seriously dead silent. Now with at least 1000 people there, that to me is pretty crazy. So we watched the fireworks, had a great time. It was fun. Afterwards, however, was not so much fun

1000 people get pretty crazy when they are all trying to get to their cars. People were crossing the street, holding up the cars. Not just a few people either. Hundreds crossing the street, while the cars had green lights. Then when it was our turn to cross, so many people crossed with us, that we were stuck in the middle of the road, just because there wasnt enough room on the sidewalk. Next year they maybe need to think about closing the road, because we almost got hit, and there wasn't anywhere for us to go. So we finally crossed the street, and at this point I was ramming people in ankles with the stroller, because if I didnt, we were never going to get through. Well we get to the car and load up, then spend another 20 min driving home. well we seriously live 5 minutes away so the fact that it took 20-30 min to get home made me frustrated. All in all, it was a fun week so far. I cant wait to see what this weekend holds. Thanks again for reading.

Our little one is One Year old now. I cant believe how fast this year has gone by. She turned 1 June 10th 2012. I am amazed to see that since then, it seems that she learns something new everyday. I am a stay at home mom by choice. I love staying home with my baby. Seeing the way she explores the world is wonderful. Sometimes it would be easier if I went back to work. We are behind on bills, but I try and get ahead. It seems like whenever something is close to catching up, or that we get a break, something else goes wrong. I am torn. Because I don't want to give up staying home with my baby. I don't want to miss the firsts' in her life. I have been here everyday and I am not ready to give that up yet. But how easy would our lives be, if I were working again. No worries about money. No final notices. We could relax and live life. See why Im torn? Its just so hard. Adam was in a bad mood today, and it was of course over money. I wish life was easy.

Adam got a new job! He actually started about a month ago. He likes it, and its full time. Its a really great job. He just expects us to be caught up immediately. He doesnt get that this takes time. He doesnt understand that we have been behind so long, that its not going to happen over night. I do hope we catch up soon. I have been trying to do my share. I started a business, and I watch a little boy. So I do bring home some money. But its just not enough. There is never enough money.

Well that is enough for now. Hopefully I can keep up with this blog this time. :)